i have not blogged for over a year. didnt wan to change the link. far too lazy for that. i wanted to give up blogging. but i wanted to spit something out of my chest. facebook seem to be the platform but it didnt seem right when i was typing it. guess this is still the best place then. which explains my return.

i was speaking to someone. and that certain one made me realise that being able to answer to yourself highly surpass than being answerable to other. in various points in life, i have to remind myself to be responsible and to be answerable to that certain someone in each of the scenario.thru this chat, it has actually dawned on me that why do i even bother whether i am answerable to anyone? i should be answerable to myself. its me who have control over my own life.

taking in the positive point and waive off the negative. this is where discretion takes place. i should only be answerable to those who are of value and weight to me. waive off those which adds pressure and impedes in the performance of the outcome.

life is sooo hard nowadays where being tired and bothered basically sums it all up. school was a bitch. work no better. being consistent is a slut! tired tired tired.

this post is actually a very personal one. have yet to confide this to anyone yet. and i have no intention in doing so. for someone who reads to this point of the post and after sooo long after i re-blogged again, it might jus mean that u are someone who care and bother about me. or rather u jus chanced upon.

life and maturing has really taken its toes. points where people feel that oneself could nv understand or know the change in him/her. but i have actually realized that i have started to bottle things up. not opening up and confiding to people anymore. one may wan you to open up to them in the name of being close to you. but on the other hand, the person might just be judgmental towards u.

i have never held my guards up so high before. what m i turning into! i feel mutated.

i was jus running thru my old entries, they are like 8 mths old! Many things have changed since then. A lot of things have changed from then and now.

First of all, I have POP from the stay in camps. like finally! survived thru my 16 weeks. thinking back, i really don know how i did that... plus, I have jus hit the 5 mths in my new dept... The ppl there are great, great friends, Mdms. But the only thing is that i have a sensitive big boss.. like damn... life is going to be hell from now til i ord..

next, right... i am old, like legally old... 21 already.... really had a blast on that day. thankful for those who made time out to attend, planned the whole thing and stuff like that... really glad that they have made the effort in the surprise..

oh... i have started sch, jumped or dived into it... will have to juggle both at the same time...

i also realize that i can really rumble random things.. smt different from the past...

you know, sometimes the words FRIENDS can be a tough bitch to handle...
i always ask... friends are for:
1) to compare and c who is doing better?
2) to use/ accompany when u have a mutual use?
3) someone to spill out your worries or someone u can confide to?
4) to show u the lukewarm attitude whenever you like?

hmmm... as i grow older, i tend to look at things at a wider prospective. thinking and worrying about things will not help u solve the problem. At the same time, doing nothing will not bring u any further. BUT then again, sometimes it iz best to keep num, if not damage would be inflicked if you talk too much and nothing can be done to reverse it. Learning how to heck care and mind your own business might jus be the way to do things.

being lethal is a way that i would seriously choose 1 day... shall be nice and jus speak my mind... I NEED A BREAK.. LIKE NO KIDDING

have yet to blog for a while... am treasuring my bullet flying weekends while i crawl thru the weekdays... time check! 7 weeks downs! 8 more to go... i think my life will only recover after CNY... still seem very far away... really dread going back..

alright... a little pics...
was having dinner.. and i bumped into some KUKU! whats more... its on her bday! and my dear kuku... if u ever get to read this... when are u going to meet the botak for dinner arh?


this was taken on friday.... was lynette's birthday.. erm.. her 21st ( shouting out loud)... hahah was nice catching up... and from there i realise that whipped cream tasted HEAVENLY... but sinful... damn...


hahahah... signing off now... =) take care ppl

4 weeks down! pretty much 12 more weeks left!!! it always the case that u will be eager to come out but hate going in.. it was intended to be 3 months but fear of extensions have lingered ard... rather sure that it is that way... arghhh... oh ya... couz will have joining the club come jan... haha... 2 mangkok (read as mang-ko) during CNY! how interesting! alright back to the routine life for a couple more days! and i can smell freedom again! break are EXTREMELY VITAL or rather FREEDOM!

Hey Hey! i am back ! officially botak now! wooooo... life is good.. adapted to changes that i didnt really get used to previously... fortunately i did... fellow mates are a group of funny ppl.. oh wells.. i am going to go back in tonight! woots... no pic for now... hahah... i have a million and one things to do so i will update again! take care guys!

hahahah enlisting in 8 hrs time... probably or rather certainly this would be my last post before i go in... getting ready for NS is such a haste... so lazy preparing for it... I REALLY DON KNOW WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS! hahaha... shall jus go in with a positive attitude.. actually i should be in bed now... coz i heard that u will be begging for sleep as its HIGHLY deprived! but the ipod isnt sync-ing fast enough! damn...

well wishes have been streaming in since yesterday(sun).. sorry guys if i ask who are u coz i changed my hp and didnt have time to fill it up on my new phone pain-stackingly... so don blame me if i ask who are u... sorry... oh ya! thank you LIN YUNYU! you kuku! so have to play a prank on me now rite! hahahah... watta ass! btw thanks for those well wishes everyone!

hahaha... before i go! a buddha jump shot! winks!
see ya guys!

11 days and counting.. wow... National service here i come... i guess tension has already start mounting... excited? ok la.. scared? ok la.. sian? hell yeah! hahhaha kinda regret having a week off early from my temp job... the days where lazing around aint helpful at all.. actually, its not that i don have things to do... its jus me being lazy... i have tons of things to see into! trust me.. there isnt one thing that i have prepared to NS... let alone handing up my timesheet for work! HOW sian can it get!

plus! my neck is killing me after the swim i had a couple of days ago... it has seriously affected my sleep and i would have frequent headaches the moment i roll out of bed.. hahahah all the more to add on lawsonn's list of sian! oh! did i ever mention how embracing life can get when u are about to serve the country?

speaking of which, i was abruptly awaken a call by esther.. somethings about work... from then on cant get back to sleep... ( something that i dont adore at all).. got up and stoned on the couch.... and felt that i seriously missed my working days back in maybank... found ppl to be ard... bitching and lunches are like the best thing ever...


hmmm what is gonna happen tomor... its killing me!!! hahahaha.. oh wells... tmr is my farewell from APSS! bandit from sec sch... wonder whats up their sleeves!